The Best Advice For A Great Marriage; And It's Not What You May Have Heard All Your Life

Over the years, I've heard and given just about every piece of marriage advice imaginable. "Happy wife, happy life." "Never go to bed angry." "Communication is the key."

There's some truth in all of those sayings. But after more than 50 years of marriage—and after watching a lot of other marriages—I have come to believe that great marriages are built on something much deeper.

The world offers all kinds of advice. It tells us to find the right person, stay compatible, keep the romance alive, and work harder at communication. Those things certainly matter, but the strongest marriages aren't built on perfection, compatibility tests, or romantic feelings alone.

They're built on two people who are committed to growing closer to God. And as they grow closer to God, they naturally grow closer to each other.

When a husband seeks God's wisdom, he becomes more loving, patient, humble, and selfless. When a wife seeks God's guidance, she becomes more gracious, encouraging, and understanding. Both are becoming more like Christ—and that's what brings them closer together.

One of the greatest gifts a husband and wife can give each other is encouragement to keep growing spiritually.

Wives, encourage your husbands to spend time with godly men who will sharpen their faith. Talk together about the Scriptures you've been reading. Share what God is teaching you. Most importantly, pray for him AND with him.

Men, encourage your wives to be involved with godly women who will strengthen and encourage them. Make church attendance a priority. Make reading God's Word a regular part of your home. Let your family see that your relationship with Christ comes first.

More than 30 years ago, after once again reading Joshua 24:15, "But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord," I made that verse my life verse. It became more than words on a page—it became the passion of my heart and the direction I wanted for my family. I haven't lived it perfectly, but it has been the standard I've tried to keep before me. Looking back, I can honestly say that making Christ the center of our home has been one of the greatest blessings Jean and I have ever experienced. God has been faithful through every season, and I wouldn't trade His presence in our marriage and family for anything this world could offer.

Another practice that has made an enormous difference in Jean's and my life is surrounding ourselves with other godly couples. Some of our closest friends are people who love the Lord. We play cards together, go out to eat, hike, laugh, and even take vacations together. More importantly, we encourage one another to keep growing in our walk with Christ. Those friendships have strengthened our marriage more than we ever imagined.

Jean and I aren't perfect, and neither is our marriage. Like every couple, we've faced our share of challenges. Although, if I'm being completely honest, she's probably had more challenges being married to me than I've had being married to her.

But through every season, I've learned this: when God is at the center of a marriage, He provides the strength, grace, wisdom, and forgiveness needed to navigate whatever life brings.

The world tells us to focus on changing our spouse. God tells us to let Him change us.

That's why I believe the best marriage advice isn't, "Happy wife, happy life."

It's this: Godly husband. Godly wife.Happy life.

When Two People Are Committed to Growing Closer to God, It May Not Always Be A Perfect Marriage, But It Will Be A Lot More Fun!